What A Wife Needs From Her Husband and Vice Versa

 

If you read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, it outlines five ways to express and experience love that the author calls "love languages": gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. Author Dave Willis also published a blog post that summed it all for us the 3 biggest needs of most husbands and the 3 biggest needs for most wives.

Whether is Chapman or Willis' advice, there is no one universal way to show and receive love from your spouse. It's imperative to know your spouse well. Dads and husbands, ask your wives what ways they feel loved and what can you do to provide this kind of love for her. Allow her to answer honestly.

Here's the list from Willis. 

Three Primary Needs of Husbands:

1. Respect.
Men don’t often admit, but we are desperate for our wives’ respect. With it, we feel like we can take on the world. Without it, life can feel like it’s falling apart. A wife’s respect has the power to bring out the best aspect of him.

2. Sex.  
A husband can deal with almost anything if his sex life is great.

3. Peace in the home.
Men don’t always know how to articulate this, but we have a deep desire for our wives to cultivate an atmosphere of “peace” in the home.

Three Primary Needs of Wives:

1. Love.
The “love” wives need is embodied in consistent adoration, affection, protection and rock-solid commitment from their husbands. Men, love your wife with everything you’ve got.

2. Communication.
A woman’s need for communication is usually just as strong as a man’s need for sex. Think about that guys... if your wife needs it as much as you need sex, that should motivate you to make it a top priority!

3. Security.
A woman needs to know that her heart, her finances, her family and her physical safety are in the best hands with her husband. She needs to know that her husband would gladly give his own life to save hers... even more importantly, he would gladly spend every moment of his life working to give to her and share with her the best life possible.


Read Dave Willis' full article and get his new book here.

Eat, Drink and Be Merry! Adultery Website Ashley Madison Launched in the Philippines

Source: abs-cbn.com

"Ang buhay ay maikli, mangaliwa." Or, in English "Life is short so have an affair" is the slogan of the Ashley Madison Agency, an agency that will help married people hook up with each other. Recently, the website was launched in the Philippines offering the same adultery service to married and committed Filipino couples. For a certain amount, they guarantee that you will have an affair within 90 days or your money back.

Ashley Madison makes it sound so easy and simple because no one will ever know! What they don't tell you about is the heartache and pain that takes place when the affair is found out.

Americans Don't Trust Their Government

Sad to say but Americans don't trust their government. It's very simple, people don’t have confidence in their leaders if they feel they’re being lied to and if those leaders don’t play by the rules.

We now know that proponents (Jonathan Gruber) of the Affordable Care Act or ObamaCare intentionally misled the public to get the law passed and the President went ahead with immigration reform without the consent of Congress.

It's a dangerous place to be for a country. As a Christian and a dad concerned for the well-being of my children, it drove me down my knees and prayed for our leaders. 

As Chuck Colson once said, “free democratic governments function only with the consent of the governed. And the governed only give their consent when they have confidence in those who are governing them. If that confidence fails, then the [American] experiment . . . known as ordered liberty, fails as well.”

Left or Right, Democrats or Republicans, nobody wants a broken country.

(Adapted from BreakPoint)

Remember the Prisoners on #GivingTuesday

On Dec. 2, 2014, the world comes together to give. Join Prison Fellowship as we participate on #GivingTuesday to support our mission to change the lives of prisoners, ex-prisoners, and their families through Jesus Christ. We ask our friends, donor, fans, and followers to remember the prisoners on the first Tuesday in December. We made everything easy for online giving.

Here’s how you can help:

• Give to Prison Fellowship through the online gift catalog; or,
• Give to Angel Tree; or,
• Give your time and volunteer for Prison Fellowship and Angle Tree this Christmas

Fans and friends of Prison Fellowship may also  support our cause by sharing our #GivingTuesday memes below. Helping us spread the word about Giving Tuesday will help us reach new potential supporters and grow public interest on what we do. To help, simply choose an image below, click on it to view the full size image, right click it, save it in your computer and share it to your friends and family on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media pages. Remember to use the hashtag #GivingTuesday when sharing.

Together, our steps can help mothers and fathers behind bars and their children take their first steps to a better future towards a happy and Gospel-filled life. Please mark it on your calendar, the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, December 2, 2014, it’s GIVING TUESDAY.


(Originally posted on Prison Fellowship)

Thanksgiving: Good Time to Teach Kids to Serve the Poor

If you want your children to grow up with a heart of serving the poor and needy, then parents should actively look or create opportunities where children can practice what they learn and parents to practice what they preach.

Last week, my kids and I had a little food drive to help raise food items and grocery gift cards to Loudoun Interfaith Relief, the local food bank in our area. We asked mostly our friends in the neighborhood and church small group for food items, gift cards or cash for Loudoun Interfaith's annual Thanksgiving Meal bag distribution.

Giving Back on #GivingTuesday

Don’t look now, but the holiday season is right around the corner. Thanksgiving is only two weeks away, immediately followed by the retail-driven Black Friday and Cyber Monday, encouraging people to go out and start making their Christmas purchases.

And then there is Giving Tuesday.

What is Giving Tuesday?

The Top Reason Teens Keeps the Faith as Young Adults

Here's a supporting reason why my wife and I should be more involved in telling our kids what we believe and why we believe. Moreover, modeling to them how our daily actions are shaped and guided by those beliefs - not because of our Filipino American heritage but because of our Christian beliefs. Parents, for better or worse, are actually the most influential pastors of their children.

The holy grail for helping youth remain religiously active as young adults has been at home all along: parents.

Mothers and fathers who practice what they preach and preach what they practice are far and away the major influence related to adolescents keeping the faith into their 20s, according to new findings from a landmark study of youth and religion.

Just 1 percent of teens ages 15 to 17 raised by parents who attached little importance to religion were highly religious in their mid-to-late 20s.

In contrast, 82 percent of children raised by parents who talked about faith at home, attached great importance to their beliefs and were active in their congregations were themselves religiously active as young adults, according to data from the latest wave of the National Study of Youth and Religion.

Read more: David Briggs, The Huffington Post 

Filipina Actress and Fiance Vowed to No Kiss and No Sex Until Marriage

I don’t know who this young actress is (except that she looks like Sharon Cuneta’s daughter KC Conception) but I stumbled upon an article about her recently on Facebook. Soon to be married, actress Jewel Mische said she and her American fiance are waiting for their wedding day to share their first kiss.

She explained they vowed not to engage in any sexual activity before their wedding.

In an interview with ABS-CBN's entertainment talk show “The Buzz,” Jewel said: “Alister and I, first and foremost, we believe that sex is God's wedding present." She added, "we believe that sexual intercourse or the physical and emotional union of two people should be a means of celebrating love, producing children and experiencing pleasure together protected by the commitment of marriage.”

The actress admits she and her fiance made “mistakes in the past.” But now that they found each other, they are willing “to pursue what we think is right.”

 

“We are both grounded and we believe that sex is for married people. But we messed up also in the past,” Jewel said.

Jewel met Alister in a Christian church two years ago. They got engaged December 2013.

Kudos to Jewel and her fiance and I hope they influence more Filipino couples to make the same vows. Have a fun and memorable wedding night!

Click here for other Filipino celebrities who vowed no sex until marriage.

Not So Bro Country, But Feel Good Country: Maddie and Tae's "Girl in a Country Song"

Thanks to Sprint I got a six-month free premium subscription with Spotify (Check out my Spotify profile here and follow me).

One of the playlist I created was my “Country Feel Good” list made up of country pop hits I personally feel good about listening to - mostly songs about committed love, family and patriotism. One song I recently added was Maddie and Tae’s “Girl in the Country Song.”

The song was a breath of fresh air because it calls the "bro country" and machismo-driven "frat boys" of country music to man up and respect women in their songs.

Country music is known for its recurring themes of pickups and breakups. But the last few years, we’ve seen an almost endless stream of what my colleague from BreakPoint calls, “bro country.”

In an article in The Atlantic, Gina Dalfonzo describes how country music has become a frat boy’s fantasy set to acoustic guitar.

“You could play Country Radio Bingo,” she says, “with all the references to...beers, driving in trucks on dirt roads, and dancing on tailgates in the moonlight…women are referred to simply as random...collections of scantily clothed body parts...” And they’re typically just called “girls.”

The new young country duo Maddie and Tae are challenging bro country’s monopoly and denigrating theme.

“Bein’ the girl in a country song,” they sing, “How in the world did it go so wrong?/Like all we’re good for is looking good for/You and your friends on the weekend, nothing more.”

Kudos to Maddie and Tae! Hear and check out the video and judge for yourself. 

(Adapted from The Point)

Filipino American Daddy Blogger is a Healthy Dad #HealthyDad

http://instagram.com/jasonebruce

I weighed exactly 200 lbs. 12 months ago. I’m now down to 183 lb. just by diet alone (see video below and contest to win $100). I’m happy with my weight loss but my next goal, now that I just turned 40 years old is to gain muscles. I know I cannot develop a chiseled body by moderate food intake alone. So I need a workout program to carve my body and give it some manly form.  

This month, I started the Body Beast workout program – a muscle defining, resistance training program designed to gain me some muscles in 90 days! You heard it right… 90 days. Yes, it sounds like Tony Horton’s P90X program but it’s not. You may or not be a fan of these intense workout DVDs, but you can agree with me that becoming fit and healthy is an important requirement to being a good dad.

http://instagram.com/jasonebruce

Fellow Christian dads and new friends Andy Neher (Fitness Redemption) and pal, Brian Chaffin (Elite Systems Training) got me into the program (read Andy's fitness journey and story here). I’m two weeks into the program and so far so good. Well, not all the time. I’m wiped out and sore everyday. Some of the routines are hard to love and enjoy because I struggle with it - specially the cardio. But I’m pressing on. My wife and kids are always in my mind. They are my motivation. I want to live longer and healthy for my children and I want look good and desirable for my wife (wink wink).

Anyone who is starting a new workout program should consider the health disclaimer, “Consult your physician before beginning any exercise program.” Who has time to do this? Sometimes it’s tough to get to a doctor. But Anthem Blue Cross Blue Sheild’s (who happens to be my family’s health care provider) LiveHealth Online App may have the answer. With LiveHealthOnline, you can connect with U.S. based, board-certified doctors within minutes by two-way video chat in the privacy of your own home. Available 24/7, 365 days a year.

Doctors are available to handle acute conditions, worsening of chronic conditions, triage, refills and general advice. Ideal to give anyone the medical consultation they need to start a workout program.

To learn more about LiveHealth Online, visit www.livehealthonline.com. You can register by downloading the app from iTunes or Google Play store and signing up in one quick step. 

The first step to taking care of our families is to take care of ourselves.

Follow and join my health and fitness journey: #HealthyDad

 http://instagram.com/jasonebruce

CONTEST ALERT: Make your own #HealthyDad video 
via Vine or Instagram. Post it on the Healthy Dads
Facebook page and you could win a $100 Amazon gift card. 
Click here for more details.

(Thanks to Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, who sponsored the campaign, for including dads in this important discussion about family health care. My views are based solely on my experience as a parent, and not as a medical professional.)

Flirt With Your Spouse! Here are Some Creative Ways

I love flirting with my wife. It communicates sexual interest to her in a playful way. Marriage expert Mark Merrill agrees and said married people should flirt with each other a lot and should once in a while flirt in front of the kids to reinforce a sense of love and stability in the home. He suggest a few creative and fun tips on how to flirt with your spouse:

Attention Filipino-American Dads: 1 in Every 10 Filipino Women Age 15 to 19 is Already a Mother or is Pregnant

Pay attention Filipino-American dads. Results of a government survey one in every 10 Filipino women age 15 to 19 is already a mother or is pregnant with her first child.

The survey shows teen pregnancies are more common in poorer households and in women who only graduated elementary school.

Early childbearing is also more common in Cagayan Valley compared to other regions in the country.

Results of the survey also reveal one in every five Filipino women age 18 to 24 admitted to having sex before they reached 18.

Very sad news. It's a good reminder for us Filipino-American dads and are members of the "body of Christ" that we must lead the way in influencing Filipino youth (around the world) that childbearing belongs in the context of committed marriage. Where God meant it to be.


Click here for the entire article and video.

5 Filipino Celebrities Who Vowed No Sex Until Marriage

Several Filipino celebrities have made known their preference to stay a virgin until after getting married to their partners. One thing they in common: they are all Christians.

I applaud these five women for taking a stand on celibacy. I know it's a hard decision to keep but I'm glad some women (and their boyfriends) are modeling to young Filipinos around the world God's true design for male and female love relationships. As a Filipino-American Christian dad raising young children, having a good celebrity influence and role model is a big help when I teach my kids to wait before marriage. I'm sure many Filipino parents around the world agree.

Young Christian Man's Apology to Porn Stars

Thanks to Brushfires Foundation (a ministry that deals with sexual brokenness), I came across this moving letter from a young man recovering from addiction to pornography. As someone who found freedom from this sin (and is still overcoming it) after many years of struggle, I can relate and empathize with him. I could have written the letter myself but this man articulated best every word that is already in my heart. Brushfires Foundation's introduction below is followed by a link to “My apology to p+rn stars.” It's my personal letter too.

For All You Dads Regardless of Your Cereal Choice. #HowToDad

Great job Cheerios! Thank you for this positive and non-condescending TV commercial.  Indeed, a dad's job is fantastic. #HowToDad

 

Clean Drinking Water for our New Home

It’s exactly 13 month since me moved in to our new town house. So far, so good. No complaints whatsoever. A lot have been added inside, new furniture, new appliance and even a new family (that’s a different story I’m going to tell next time).

The latest addition to our home is the NewAir WCD-200WWater dispenser.  It’s our first water dispenser and the product doesn’t disappoint. I gave it a five star on Amazon because this dispenser has been a life saver! My family don’t trust tap water anymore and I’m tired of buying multiple filters for our Brita pitcher. The hot water feature is convenient for coffee and my wife’s tea, and the cold water remains cold all the time. I refill my 5 gallon bottles at our local grocery store for less than $4. The water tastes clean and we’re drinking much more water today because of the dispenser. It’s a quality product.

(Disclosure: NewAir provided us a sample of the dispenser for review.)

 

Real Dad Moments in the Lives of Children of All Ages & Stages

Dove Men+Care hit another home run with their latest Father’s Day video commercial (see below). The video is so simple and direct that it needs no sweet introduction. I’ll let the video speak for itself.

But one thing that stood out for me which LifeNews also noticed was the scene where a daughter shows her dad an ultrasound photo of her unborn baby. It's a clear visual image of the irreplaceable value of fathers in the lives of children of all ages and ALL stages. And, captured the profound joy and beauty of embracing life.

Videos like Dove’s and recently OralB’s makes me miss my dad.

(Image: Dove Men+Care)

The Power of Dad and Family Dinners

One simple way I protect my children from the dangers of drug abuse, suicide, and premarital sex is simply sitting with them at the dinner table. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, children who have dinner with their parents at least five times a week are less likely to drink, think about suicide, smoke, or say they will use drugs in the future.

My dad was always home for dinner when I was growing up. Our dinner table was not only where my family enjoyed my mom’s cooking. It was also where we shared our values, where we asked questions, and where we learned from each other. I make an intentional effort to continue this tradition with my own family. I’m always home for dinner. I intentionally looked for a job that was close to home and would get me home in time for dinner everyday. It brings a smile to my face when I hear my kids scream “daddy’s home” every time I walk in our front door from work.

The best dinner is when I cook and my family would love it. Last Memorial Day, I prepared a Texan-style smoked pork shoulder for the first time. I smoked it for 12 hours until 1 am. The long wait was worth it. We had the smoked barbecue the following dinner. I knew I scored a home run with the dish because all mouths and fingers were messy while eating my smoked pork. The smiles were precious and was definitely an “I love being a dad” moment for me.

Things You Need to Know Before Idolizing Marcos

Excellent piece of blogging. It sets the record straight on why former President Ferdinand Marcos doesn't deserve the adulation from many Filipinos. Below is an excerpt from "Things You Need to Know Before Idolizing Marcos."

 

When it comes to our country’s good, we don’t owe anyone a favor, whether it’s Marcos, Estrada, or Aquino. We are a nation who implored the aid of God to set up a government that reflects our ideals and aspirations—ideals that are pure and chaste. But with our little education and feeble minds we were deceived by these people to trust them with our hands, minds, and pockets. Now that we know better, are we still going to trust our country’s good to these kinds of people and their offspring?

We owe it to ourselves to setup a good government and bring about a better nation. Hence, we shouldn’t elect strongmen (or women) to save us from ourselves and each other. We MUST save ourselves by being respectful of the covenants we made with ourselves and others: by respecting our laws against cheating, lying, stepping on each other’s rights (among others) and by upholding our laws that promote peace, community, cooperation, wealth-sharing, and mutual growth.

More than ever, we are the heroes who can save this nation. If only we remember and never forget.

Read more: Epi Fabonan III, The Social Scientist

Being Rich Is Not About How Much You Have, It Is About How Much You Give

"Being rich is not about how much you have, it is about how much you give." This is now my favorite quote. The video below explains why. It moved me and reminded me that we are called to serve others not just ourselves. 

(Published in The Huffington Post)

It shouldn't take a seven-minute video to make us appreciate what our parents do for us, but we've found one anyway.

The clip above is from Viddsee, a company in Asia that curates and shares powerful short films. In this one, titled "Gift," a son feels neglected by his father for most of his childhood. But when he grows up, he learns his dad's cold exterior was hiding a soft (dare we say, funny?) interior all along.
It's a simple reminder to not judge a book -- or a dad -- by the cover.

Filipino Daddy Blogger Observes Lent for the First Time

I’m observing Lent for the first time this year. My wife inspired me and gracefully challenged me into fasting and committing the next 40 days for self-reflection, sacrifice and prayer. This article from writer Nathan Finn also articulate what I was thinking and feeling about it (excepts posted below).

I'll keep the details of my fasting to myself. But one thing I made sure before deciding to do this is to set the motive of my heart right. Am I doing this to please others, myself or God? I started to prayerfully reflect on this question the other day and will continue to do so during Lent. I'm a dad, a husband, I'm religious, a Baptist, none of these labels matter before the Lord. In the next 40 days of Lent, the only identity important to me and will humbly practice before my Holy Father is "beloved son." 

Games I Suggested to Play With My 4-Year Old Son Early This Morning

Games I suggested to play with my 4 year old son early this morning:

1. The Lets Pretend Sleeping Game
2. The Statue Game
3. Who Can Not Speak or Talk the Longest Game
4. Who Can Hide Far Away the Longest Game

We played Game #3, but it only lasted for 3 minutes.

The joys of sleepless parenting.

I need new game ideas... that will work! Any suggestions?

How Does This Evangelical Look at Catholicism?

Growing up surrounded by Catholics in the Philippines, I share my colleague Gina's thoughts on what evangelicals share in common with Catholics. I respect the Catholic faith and although I was brought up to think this way, I don't consider all Catholics as non-Christians. In fact, my favorite prayer is The Lorica or St. Patrick's Breastplate which I read from time to time in the morning.

Below are some highlights from Gina's article that can be read in full here.

Out of ignorance, or misinformation, or sometimes just a fervent desire to separate themselves from error, many well-intentioned evangelical Christians believe and spread gross untruths about Catholicism. In my experience, many are unwilling to engage with Catholics themselves on these issues; they prefer to get their information, such as it is, secondhand.

She added...

And on a larger scale, I’m suggesting that the Catholic faith doesn’t deserve to be treated like the redheaded stepchild of Christianity.

I agree! And,

I’m not trying to deny the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. They’re very real and very important. Even Chuck Colson and Father John Neuhaus, in their seminal document Evangelicals and Catholics Together, acknowledged as much: “Our communal and ecclesial separations are deep and long standing. We acknowledge that we do not know the schedule nor do we know the way to the greater visible unity for which we hope.” They added, however, “We do know that existing patterns of distrustful polemic and conflict are not the way.” 

And, finally...

But despite all the teachings I don’t understand or don’t agree with, I believe that there’s truth in the Catholic Church, and that this truth is a valuable common ground where evangelicals and Catholics can come together and try to do away with those “patterns of distrustful polemic and conflict.”

(Read more: The Things We Share, BreakPoint.org)